How to fly the friendly skies with kids? With your head held high!
Here's a fun list of "Do's And Don'ts" according to Debby P.
DON'T: Over-EXPECT-ATE. Is that a word? Here's a fun list of "Do's And Don'ts" according to Debby P.
No… but it doesn't mean I won't use it to tell you not to stress yourself out over having perfect kids and perfect behavior during trips. Those kids dressed impeccably, matching shoes and perfectly coiffed hair. The ones that eat all their dinner and don't scream and shove the plate back at you. The ones that don't speak unless spoken to. Those kids? Those are storybook children who don't exist. They're cardboard.
DON'T HAVE CARDBOARD KIDS
Real kids are kids like my kids. Time bombs that might explode at any minute. It's your job to do your BEST to keep the time bomb from detonating. However if it does… so what. Pick up the pieces and move on.
DO: Expect the worst and hope for the best.
Kids will be kids despite your most extreme attempts to curb behavior, create a proactively engaging environment and prayers that they will NOT mention the mole on the flight attendant's face. You're on vacation. Do your best and relax. Keep yourself in line and on top of things and the rest will fall into place.
DON'T-- BE THAT MOM.
In the same breath I will tell you to keep your kids in line. Certain behaviors are just NOT GOOD on a flight and if you need to give your kid a "moment" to remind them of acceptable options---haul him or her to the mini-bathroom to get things under control.
Don't be THAT parent who shooshes 456 times, gives out "warnings" 876 times and never follows through. You are the Rambo of parenting on that flight and you will keep your charges in tow…somewhat.
DO: VISIT THE BATHROOM FOR THESE KID INFRACTIONS
- Throwing
- Screaming
- Kicking seats
- Spitting
- Starting Bar Room Brawls
- Unbuckling
- Running about the cabin
DON'T WORRY about Mr. Fussy pants who hates children in aisle 7B. Your kids could have shiny halos and he'd still be grumping over every move they make. Offer him a slice of gum as a peace offering. Or don't. Maybe even do a "fake out" move with the gum. At least in your daydream. You'll giggle and feel better. Possibly.
DO REMEMBER: that some people just don't like children nor believe they have the right to be seen or heard in public let alone an airport or airplane. GASP!
Give them evil glares but don't take it on the chin. You can't change the world. Just do your best and remain realistic and save your gum for someone who appreciates what it's like to:
#1. Have kids.
#2. Travel with them.
DON'T, OH PLEASE DON'T PACK: 500 million little items. Your intent is good but it's not a well thought out plan. If it rolls off that table--you'll sweat out a pound or so trying to retrieve it without disturbing the passenger in front of, on the side of or in back of you. It will be quite a feat and one you'll repeat without fail, 3 or 76 more times. Skip the small stuff and save the Bikram Yoga moves for the studio and David Beckham day dreams.
DO Pray. Pray to whomever you pray to for solace. Pray this prayer.
To Whom It May Concern
Pleaseohpleaseohplease…. DO let there be terribly behaved children on the flight who DO make my brood suddenly seem impeccably groomed, well behaved and fresh out of charm school. Let the parent of those children also show no skills or control. When the crew and captain personally thank ME for my awesome family and child wrangling skills in flight…please DO let me seem humble.
Amen.
